Swim lesson highlights thus far...

I finished my third session swim lessons this morning, which means I am halfway done with teaching lessons for the summer. There have definitely been some funny moments that I thought I would share. Working with three year olds on a daily basis confirms my belief that three year olds are a whole different species from the rest of humans, they sure are funny though.

My top ten:

10. Watching any number of students attempt the butterfly stroke for the first time. Bless their awkward little body convulsions.

9. The little boy, goggled and geared up ready to go, who would greet me every morning with a handshake and a "It's nice to see you again." He was five.

8. Little girl who no matter what bathing suit I was wearing would say "Ooooh... that is my favorite color. I love that swimsuit." Black, blue, red, you name it. She really liked me.

7. The same girl as above who came up to me in the middle of class and full of smiles tells me that the water makes her tickle...(just guess at which inappropriate body part she was pointing at when she told me this)

6. "Oh, oh, my wee-wee!" Another little boy after practicing gliding. I'm telling you, three year olds have no filter.

5. Brighton. A little boy who would arrive way too early for his class every day, so he would proceed to follow me around during the class I was in the middle of teaching and shoot me creepy smiles while saying random things like "My dad has a truck..." Okay?

4. The boy who would cry and try to climb out of the pool every time I looked at him or tried to talk to him. It's so nice to be loved.

3. The really overweight ten year old in my level one class (the rest were five year old girls) who would grunt loudly every time I tried to make him kick or paddle or even float...I mean floating doesn't even require exertion.

2. Trying to carry as many toddlers as possible at once down the waterslides while trying to also convince them all that we were not going to die and that they were actually having fun, despite the fact that they were screaming for their mommies.

1. The best moment of all time...Picture this..a class of four, three year old boys. I decide to let them try out lifejackets, thinking this will be something fun and new. Well, I get three of them strapped in and let them start swimming while I turn around to strap on the last one. All of a sudden I hear screaming and crying. The first three boys have managed to flip over onto their backs without any idea how to flip back over onto their tummies and are floating out to the deep end. All three of them are balling. Plus, all the parents are watching. Luckily, they found the situation just as funny as I did. I was sure I had scarred them for life, but then I learned another great truth about three year olds...their capacity for holding grudges is just about equal to their attention spans.

Camping

Last week we went camping in American Fork Canyon with Mitch and Ashlee. It was really beautiful and green. We lucked out and got an awesome spot, even though we had to cross a creek to get to it...you should have seen Chris and Mitch throwing things across the water, including our full cooler. Mitch kept assuring us girls that it was ok and he wouldn't drop anything because he's a football player. The night was full of adventures, from the drunk girl named Lexi who kept trying to invite us to come drink some drinks with her for her birthday, to the one man tent and queen size air mattress that all four of us slept on. Yes, it was quite an interesting night. It was ok for Ash and I since we were squeezed in the middle, but I am pretty sure both of the boys spent little to no time actually asleep or even touching the air mattress. I wish I had taken a picture of the set-up. But here are some pictures from our adventure.


I think this picture is so typical of us...Me trying to tell a stupid joke or something and Chris patting me on the back and saying "Ok...sure, dear..." or something equally supportive.

The newest (and prettiest) member of our family

We finally bought a new car!! She is a true beaut! She is a '96 BMW 318 ti...I have absolutely no idea what that means, but I think she is really cute. The only problem now is that she is a manual transmission which means I have to re-learn how to drive a stick. I am just excited to be done with Julio finally...those of you who know who Julio is will totally understand. The girls I used to nanny liked to call Julio, "P.O.C.", acronym for "piece of crap." This is a welcome change.

Harry Potter

I am happy to report that Harry potter number seven was just as good the second time around as it was the first. J.K. Rowling, you have outdone yourself. I finished re-reading the seventh book last night and I was still crying when Chris got home from work. He told me he thought it was really touching that I could have such a strong emotional attachment to fictional characters.I told him to shove it.

Loser or hero?

I like to think of myself as both. As most of you know, I am working this summer as a lifeguard and swim teacher for Provo city (and you thought lifeguarding was for high schoolers...ha!) Well, a couple weeks I saved someone! Actually, it was my very first day of lifeguarding, I had just finished my certification classes that morning. Crazy, huh? The pool that I work at has waterslides and a teenage boy came out crying and holding his head because he had banged it while trying to do a flip in the slide. Genius. Pool policy is whenever someone could have a possible head or neck injury you have to stabilize them in the water and put them on a backboard until EMS shows up. Not doing so=big liability. I did all of those things and he ended up being fine, but it was still kind of scary. The funny thing is that most of the girls I work with have been lifeguards for like five years and have never had to save anyone. I had been a lifeguard for like two hours. So I am a hero in that sense.

On another note, I am a giant loser. I am getting a cold from teaching swim lessons in the freezing cold I think, but anyways, I was feeling super sick after work last night so I took some drugs and finally fell asleep. I slept for like ten hours and when I woke up this morning at ten, Chris turns to me and asks "Didn't you have some test this morning or something?" It is then that I realized in my sickened stupor I totally forgot to set my alarm for my Praxis exam (the exam I have to take to get my teaching license and which started at 7:30 in the morning). I had actually totally spaced the night before that the Praxis was the next morning. Well, it's just a $130 down the drain. No worries. Sometimes I can be such a loser.

Memorial Day

Chris and I wanted to go camping for Memorial Day, but lucky for us we decided at the last minute that we didn't feel like going because we thought it might be too cold. We were literally all packed in the car driving and we turned around, which turned out to be about the best idea ever. I was really glad when I woke up in three in the morning to go to the bathroom and realized it was raining....which it proceeded to do for like the next twenty four hours. So the rain kind of ruined our camping and hiking plans (we were going to go with Leandra and Carter). So in true holiday style, we decided to go out to breakfast instead. In my family, pretty much any holiday constitutes an opportunity to eat ourselves silly.




After breakfast, we headed up to continue the feasting at my parent's house with a Memorial Day BBQ. In hopes that the rain would die out so we could fire up the grill, we went to an afternoon showing of the new Indiana Jones movie. I thought it was pretty good, and I was incredibly impressed by how good Harrison Ford looked without his shirt off. Not bad for late sixties. Anyways, I loved Shia Labeouf, he has been my secret crush ever since "Even Stevens."

After the movie, it was raining harder than it had been before so we debated over what to do for dinner. Luckily, my dad is a die hard grill master. Problem solved---just stick the BBQ in the garage.

And was I ever glad he did! The results!Me and my cute little brother after the feast. Know any cute seventeen yr olds looking for true love? Haha.

Chelsea's Birthday Shout-Out

Ok, so I know Chelsea's birthday was actually yesterday, but I guess it is never too late for a birthday shout-out. Last night we went to CPK to celebrate, but unfortunately Brittany was the only one smart enough to bring a camera and I was hoping to steal some pictures from her blog but there weren't any up. Since I am at work, I will have to add some pictures depicting mine and Chelsea's friendship once I get home.

But, as my birthday gift to Chelsea I would like to count down my top-ten Chelsea memories:

10. Our seven peaks season passes last year & floating down the lazy river while running into every small child in Provo.

9. Skinny dipping in Lake Powell.

8. That other thing Chelsea dared me to do at Lake Powell (the thing that was supposed to be a secret, but she told Burke right away anyways).

7. Making fun of just about everything Jamie did...including the time we went over to her apartment at ten on a Friday night and found her putting in her own, used hair extensions.

6. The time she "surprised" me in my bed after I specifically told her not too--if you were at dinner last night you heard this story.

5. The time she and Burke tried to cheer me up and take me to sensuous sandwich after Chris and I broke up (ok, that happened more than one time).

4. The time we got in a fight because I suck at ironing and she told me "She appreciated my willingness to serve."

3. Slut night.

2. Staying at the Cannon Center for like three hours at a time, twice a day.

1. Watching the Bachelor--"I have the smallest hoots in the world.....I did not realize that there were boys here."

Happy 22nd Birthday (a day late)!

Sorry

So, it is pretty pathetic when all of your posts for the last three months can fit on one page. Oh well, I guess that's what happens when nothing exciting ever happens to you. Lately, Chris and I have been enjoying our time away from school. We are both busy with work (right now my job consists mostly of manual labor...I dropped an entire bucket of paint down my leg this morning when I was painting the bottom of Provo city's outdoor pool...nice one). Since I have last posted we have not done too much. We had a nice mother's day with my family, and we got to talk to Chris' little brother, Tommy, who comes home from his mission later this summer. One of the first things he said to me was "So, are you a good cook?" I can tell we are going to be good friends. We have only met like two times before he left on his mission so I am excited to get to know him better. Before we hung up Chris asked if Tommy had any advice for him and he said "Well, if you had asked me six months ago I would have told you not to get married!" Ha ha, spoken like a true missionary.

Yesterday we went for a hike, which was nice, but I always find myself wishing that Utah were greener. I forgot my camera so I don't have any pictures. But we sported our matching tie dye shirts Chris' mom bought for us. I realized this morning when I got to work that I missed one of my lifeguard certification classes last night while we were hiking. Ooops. My boss said it was ok because it was just a fitness test and she knows I can do all if the swim strokes. How she knows this I am not sure, but I am glad that it wasn't a big deal. Back to last night, after we got home and ate dinner we were sitting around when someone knocked on our door. It was our new next door neighbors with a plate freshly baked cookies. They just wanted to come over and meet us, they seem really nice...they may just be our first friends in our ward. After they left, Chris looked at me and said "Wow, I don't think I have ever been that nice." Ha ha, what a guy.

Seattle and More

So yesterday I get home from work and Chris tells me that he needs to take my car to work because his gas pedal has fallen off. Yes, that's right, the entire pedal and has just fallen off. How does this happen, one might ask? Get a 1978 VW bus and you will find that incidents such as this are not as uncommon as you might hope. So here I am on Saturday night stranded without a car or a cell phone (it went MIA), so I figured since I have already cleaned the house, gone for a bike ride, and paid the bills that I should update the blog. I will start with our trip to Washington...we spent a couple of days last week with Chris' family in Washington. It was fun to get away and have a couple of carefree days with family. Plus, we totally surprised them which was awesome/hilarious. His mom looked like she had seen a ghost when we walked up the driveway.




We had a great weekend visiting, eating ridiculous amounts of food, and spending time on the coast. It was pretty cold and rainy but it was really fun. It is always nice to be at the beach regardless of the weather. The picture below is some driftwood that washed up on the shore, it was like an entire tree. We also spent some time in Seattle searching for thrift stores for my hippie husband. Unfortunately we forgot to look the stores up before we left so we just ended up walking around the city; it was actually really fun and reminded me of many nights wandering around in London.

I also chopped all of my hair off (almost) while we were there. I cut about eight inches off, but don't have any pictures yet, I am sure I will soon. I really like it, but I am still trying to figure out how to do it.

Lastly, there are some exciting things happening this weekend. They are, in no particular order...


1) Eli got married! I couldn't go to the reception because of the whole gas pedal fiasco/me being stranded, but I am excited for him either way. Eli is one of my good friends from study abroad and I am super happy for him. Here we are on my first ride on a double-decker bus, we tried to sit in the very front on the top where it looks like you are running all sorts of cars and pedestrians over, but no such luck.

2) Rachel Gilman got her mission call yesterday! She is going to Argentina in August. I will miss her, but she will be a great missionary. This is one of my favorite pictures of her and Mike in London entertaining us with their musical abilities.

3) It is Sister Jamie Brown's 22nd birthday! She is kicking butt in Brazil right now on her mission, but we still miss her. I still think it is weird that we won't be roommates when she gets back. It was always an adventure, whether it be her 50 million designer purses or her practicing lacrosse against a dorm room wall at 2 a.m., or her obsession with hair extensions and putting them in herself, everyday was a surprise. Only one year until she returns! Here is Jamie, me , and Chelsea bowling right before she left for Brazil. Just to give you an idea of Jamie, here we are wearing some of the clothes that Chelsea and I found in Jamie's drawers. No, they were not in a costume chest, they were just some truly jamie-esque gems we found among her everyday clothes..and that is why we love her.


4) Jessica Van Buren (now Collings) has moved back to Provo! Now I have more friends! I love it when that happens. She is also one of my good friends from London and she and her husband moved back here from Rexburg. Now I have someone to run 5K's with again. (that is if I ever get back into running). Here we are on one of London's many bridges.

The Doctor's Office

Disclaimer:
This post may contain scenes of a graphic nature, possibly too much for a man to handle. The story involves details from a visit to the gyno....

Ok, so I went to the doctor for my yearly exam (wink, wink) yesterday and I was pleased to find out that nothing has changed in the medical profession. I was on time, but of course was forced to wait in the waiting room until twenty minutes after my appointment was scheduled for. This I was willing to overlook because the office looked genuinely busy. After I was called back into the doctor's office and they took my vitals, my MALE gynecologist entered. Ok, seriously, what self-respecting man wakes up one morning and decides--I am going to devote my life to the uterus? I mean, I respect the profession, I just don't really understand the appeal. Anyways, so he tells me to strip down, put on a gown and sit on the butcher-paper table until he comes back. He told me he would just give me a few minutes to change.

45 MINUTES LATER....

I am still sitting there, half-naked wondering if my doctor died, if I should press some sort of emergency button to get some help, or if this is just a cruel mind trick. I mean, it's not quite like I can just pop my head out the door (butt cheeks flapping in the wind) to make sure that someone is eventually going to come back into the room. Plus, the tissue-like paper sticking to my bare skin is very comfortable and I wouldn't want to move from that awkward position or anything. So there I am sitting and planning my witty/sarcastic comment when the doctor finally returns, which he does and promptly apologizes for forgetting about me. Of course, all my courage fails me and I simply smile sheepishly in my dressing gown and assure him that it is fine. I mean, I love sitting in anticipation for this annual treat. Who wouldn't? Besides, I was enjoying the breeze (too far?...sorry.) To make a long story short, my three minute exam took over two hours and Chris thought I had died. I kind of wanted to at some point.

But, I am fit as a fiddle and on a lighter and unrelated note...today is my last day at the library!!! FREEDOM!! Sweet freedom. Look for me this summer saving lives at your local pool. :)